Friday, October 27, 2017

I Wasted My 20s


The title speaks for itself. I wasted my 20s, on a lot of unnecessary things. That's just my reality when I sit back and reflect on my life and where I am now. No one can help but reflect on what was and what's going on now, the inevitable eventually happens.

You must be wondering how I wasted my 20s so I'll tell you. I went to college and got a degree in mass media communications (television production), and I was fortunate enough to work at some sports media companies. I honestly wanted to be a sports broadcaster but after a few years of chasing that dream, I let go. If you watch YouTube videos of me talking about the NBA, you would understand how much I wanted it.

Then I ventured into refereeing basketball (after 7 years I hung up the whistle) which drained my body and it took a toll on my knees and my back. Plus I lost the love to do it and all of the politics and bullshit that came with it. In between that I worked in retail for 2 big companies that are basically well-known world brands.

I know you're asking, how did I waste my time? Basically, I went down paths in Corporate America trying to, "make it" and I knew in my mind and heart that Corporate America was not for me. Once I master something and there's no longer a challenge, boredom kicks in. 

With my writing, there's always the challenge to get better, write something thought-provoking, even controversial things that'll ruffle a few feathers and make people uncomfortable. For me to have been writing since I was 13 and it took me 20 years to realize that my words can impact and resonate others is a shame.

I also wasted my 20s trying to find love and do what society expects of us, be in a relationship, get married, have kids, etc. So here I am, approaching my mid-30s with a totally different mindset. No marriage, no kids on my mind, just writing and wanting to be where all of the creators are...Los Angeles. 

Do I regret not focusing on my writing, yes and no. Yes because I could've had way more content but I hadn't learned about the realities of the world and how it works until my 30s. In my 20s it was you either got a publishing deal or your book wasn't getting published, now I have the freedom to control every aspect of the process.

I wish I did mentally focus on myself more in my 20s. I was too busy trying to make everyone else happy that I lost myself and my own happiness. So here I am, making up for lost time and publishing books every few months because I don't want to keep my talents and gifts from others.

I post a lot of free content which is my gift back to the world to say thank you for reading my words and appreciating me and my talent. I've owned up to the fact that I wasted my 20s, but I know that in my mind I would not have been able to write the books that I am writing now. 

So in a way, it's good and bad that I wasted my 20s. It's good because eventually I would myself, who I am, what I'm becoming and where my future is going. It's bad because I'm about 10 years behind in my writing which is why I'm making up for lost time now. 

Please sign up to follow my blog on the right side of the website and you can read excerpts from all of my books on Bublish and you can follow me there and get notification when I post something weekly. 

Thanks for reading, be good, accomplish your goals.

Jamell Crouthers
Aquarianmind

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