My name is Jamell Crouthers and I'm a poet and author. My blogs will consist of my journey as a writer, poet, and author. I plan on chronicling my journey from new projects to current things I'm working on and many other things. There will be blogs where I'm sharing my deepest thoughts on what I'm dealing with and going through as a writer and author. Each blog discusses what's going on at the present time of my writing journey. I hope everyone enjoys my blogs and my journey!
Sometimes you never know what opportunities in life will come your way. I was blessed to be featured in Writer's Life Magazine. I was able to connect with the editor of the magazine and was given an opportunity to be in the magazine for the summer edition. The magazine was just realized a week ago and it's one of the biggest accomplishments of my life.
Granted the magazine isn't huge, the fact that I'm featured in it, it's very fulfilling. The pictures are below and if you want to see a digital or print copy the website is this link here. Writers Life Magazine
From February 2016 all the way to today, I've been writing so much. The thing is I don't truly feel accomplished. It's probably because most of the world doesn't even know I exist or that I even write. You get to this place of uncertainty wondering if you should continue doing what you love to do. I've finally figured out my purpose in life and now here I am questioning if this is even worth it anymore.
You start to question how much time do I spend trying to get myself out to the world and what's worth spending money on and what isn't. I've spent money on so many things and a lot of my investments have been a waste of time.
With 5 books published, another 3 books written and ready for publication, a screenplay script completed with another one almost done, I should feel accomplished, right? Well...no I don't, even with me recently being published in a magazine for authors. I guess the thing for me is, I don't feel like wasting years of my life to be noticed for my talent and abilities. So maybe I want some notoriety now because the reality is, tomorrow isn't guaranteed and the real truth is we're all going to die eventually, we just don't know when.
People tell you to write because you love it. I do love it but I don't want to be writing the rest of my life while working some Corporate America job that I'm not supposed to be working in at all. Then comes the question of when do I quit and walk away from the stable full-time job I'm bored from with medical benefits that I barely pay into as my job pays more toward it.
These are the conundrums that people face when they have a passion for something but feel stuck in a rut. The main reason for me writing this post is to share my reality and my truths of what I deal with and go through on a regular basis. I've realized that too many of my previous posts were all too positive and uplifting, now it is time to talk about my struggles.
My book sales aren't that high, I can't get an agent to represent me for my screenplay and I'm mentally tired from my job. My writing should be my career and that's what I should be able to focus on every single day of my life. Honestly, I have no motivation to do it most days and it shouldn't be this much of a struggle. I can't be walking in a dark tunnel forever because that does no justice for me. There needs to be a glimmer of light that shines.
Who knows when I'll take that leap of faith and just not care anymore about stability. Maybe my life needs to be a little crazy before stability settles in with my writing. Maybe I need to just pack my bags and move to Los Angeles like I've been wanting to for so long.